I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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