my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
