Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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