Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize