apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
