idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I'm at about main and main street
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
