i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
