I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
