So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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