ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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