You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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