Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
