If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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