do herpes really smell.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
