big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
