we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
