Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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