Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
