I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
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