Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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