As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
