remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
