I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize