why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
