She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
