Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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