im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
