If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
