and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
