he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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