i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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