shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
id be glad to
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
