She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
