Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize