Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
