great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
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