i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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