my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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