But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I understand Curling. That high.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
