I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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