I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
My ass is underappreciated
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
