I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
how does that bad decision feel?
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