I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize