Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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