So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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