that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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