I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
