yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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