I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
