that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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