Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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