So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
