I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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