that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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