Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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