Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
