i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
